Remembering the Kathy Chous — Regardless of the Face

It has been almost three years exactly since I received a shocking call from my oldest daughter. I listened carefully as she explained the details of a situation that wasn’t entirely clear to her, but she shared the specifics she knew. I repeated to her what she had just stated as I tried to process her words. I knew there must be some misunderstanding, but she assured me there wasn’t. She stated the words again “Kathy is missing.”

The vibrant Kathy Chou, a young lady who had been friends with my daughter since they were fourth grade students at a local Renton school had disappeared. From elementary through high school, I had spent many years transporting the girls from various activities while listening to their giggles and stories of events occurring in their lives. It didn’t take long to figure out what type of individual Kathy was, and as any mother can testify spending time with various children regardless of whether you have birthed them often makes them become part of “your village.” This statement means you care about them, their well-being, and feel protective about them. Kathy was part of our village. I know she knew this, and I felt this in the hugs she embraced me with as I walked through the doors of Lindbergh High School even in her later high school years-despite who saw us. The moment she saw me, she would always shout out to me and come running. That is why when I heard the news of her disappearance I knew something was off. She cared about those in her life. Freely disappearing from family and friends sans contact wasn’t the Kathy we had all grown to know through the years.

For over a year flyers were distributed, television broadcasts presented, social media avenues utilized… and so many more steps taken in an effort to find Kathy and bring her home safely. Despite time passing I still remember particular restaurants in Fairwood that placed the flyers for almost a week and when I returned to leave more, the original was gone. Why I asked? “It has been a week and she hasn’t been found I was told.” I looked on stunned. Schools I approached and asked to post flyers displaying her picture sometimes surprised me. Some met me with refusal, informing me I might frighten the younger children. My thoughts were there were so many pairs of eyes there- perhaps one set had seen something that could shed immediate light on the case. Let’s communicate and let others know this is what is happening around us, let’s quickly spread the word, and keep the heat on. Let’s bring Kathy home.

At times when things seemed to be so frustrating, there were no updates, all that remained seemed to be silence. Then there was the beam of light that arose.  A local Fairwood, ice-cream shop owner stunned me. I never told him I knew Kathy until a year later because I wanted to see what he would do. Every time I stepped into the doors of his business, and looked over my right shoulder I was greeted with her flyer posted on the wall, seemingly looking at me. Her slight smile looked as if she knew many people were still looking for her. “Do you know Kathy I asked one day?” the business owner shook his head. I was curious as to why he was willing to keep the poster up when others removed it so quickly. To this day I will never forget his response of, “because she is still missing.” That owner kept her flyer posted until the final days of the search, over a year.

The outcome of this case displayed in tragedy with Kathy’s life ending in a senseless killing. However, as the days drift and another anniversary of her passing approaches we remember those that are part of “our village,” and community. During the height of the search for Kathy, I remember a brief conversation I had via telephone with her mother. She inquired about my daughter, and asked that I urge her to do well in school and life because when “one makes it we all make it.” I hang on to those words tightly each April, Debbie. I remember.

When the social media information on this case decreases, the articles cease, the news reports disappear, memories continue. Whether it is the face of Kathy Chou, Jessica Scholl or others that have lost their lives in senseless killings- they live on in the hearts of many but more importantly in the heart of a community.